


Rememberance

by psychicdreamsandangelwings



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Basically Daryl Figuring Shit Out, Can Be Platonic Rickyl, Character Study, Daryl In Love, Daryl and Feelings, Daryl has a Crush, How Do I Tag, I wrote this instead of studying, Kinda?, M/M, Self-Reflection, Tags Are Hard, i guess?, kind of?, what else is there to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 09:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8321956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychicdreamsandangelwings/pseuds/psychicdreamsandangelwings
Summary: Daryl falls in love in stages, each step progressing a little further as the world becomes more dangerous. He learns he can trust and rely on his people, especially Rick, the more time he spends with them. Daryl remembers everything distinctly, how it all progressed and how he came to be the person he is today. The person his people love; the person Rick loves; the person he’s proud to say he is.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm kind of iffy about this. I got the urge to write and this happened. It's different than what I usually write and I had trouble classifying it (the reason why my tags are such a mess) but I hope you guys like it.

Daryl falls in love in stages, each step progressing a little further as the world becomes more dangerous. He learns he can trust and rely on his people, especially Rick, the more time he spends with them. He's never been comfortable around people; he learned early on in his life that people weren't to be trusted. This lead to an iron-clad shield forming around himself, one that didn’t allow for anyone, not even Merle, to see who he really was. Dixons weren’t the type of people to let others in; Merle taught him that was a pussy boy thing to do and Daryl weren’t no pussy boy.

But that changes when the world goes to shit. Right off the bat Daryl learns you need people in this new world order. He couldn’t go off by himself, he wouldn’t survive, and the group could only tolerate so much shit from him before they got tired of it all. So Daryl tried, he really did. He made himself useful, he showed the group he was worthy of keeping around, and he tried to be more helpful. They must have saw something in him because they let him stay, despite the fact that he was an asshole with no filter. He knows most of them just tolerated him at first. But, after everything that happened with Merle, Daryl realized Rick was a decent fellow and Carol wasn’t too bad either.

Daryl remembers everything distinctly, how it all progressed and how he came to be the person he is today. The person his people love; the person Rick loves; the person he’s proud to say he is.

 

_He remembers the quarry, the day he first set eyes on Rick Grimes._

He couldn't stand the man, with his sheriff hat and officer get up that looked so out of place amongst the rest of them. He was just barely able to shake the urge he had to put a bolt through his eye. Rick reminded Daryl too much of the police, of the people who turned their backs on him when his ol' man killed his Mama and beat the ever loving shit out of him. He ain't ever trusted anyone with a badge and a uniform. That ain't never gonna change, not even with this new Rick fellow. No matter how blue his eyes were or how good he looked in a uniform.

But that first glance of hatred morphed into something a little tamer when officer friendly decided to get his brother, even when his wife and best friend threw a hissy fit about it. Sure, it'd been Rick’s fault his brother got left in the first place. The rage that had boiled up in Daryl because of that fact made him lose control. But everyone there knew he didn't _have_ to go; _Daryl_ knew he didn’t have to go. Nobody expected that of him, but he still did it. Whether he went because of a guilty conscience or a duty to his badge didn’t matter to Daryl. He went, he searched, and Daryl respected that. He didn’t like officer friendly much but he respected him, more than anyone else in the group, and that meant something to him.

_He remembers losing Sophia, Hershel’s farm._

He thinks that’s where everything really started up. Most of the group didn’t like Daryl and, honestly, Daryl didn’t blame them. He was rude and an all-around asshole; he gave them no reason to like him. Besides, he didn’t like most of them either. But, he pulled his weight and Rick recognized that. Daryl didn’t hang on to their coattails, he did a lot for the group that hated him so much. He helped provide for them and he did more for Sophia than anyone else. Rick saw that. He trusted and respected Daryl and, in turn, Daryl learned to trust and respect him as well.

Carol told him that Rick was going to drag him down, that he was just using him as a henchman. But he never saw it as that. The respect went both ways. Their friendship may not have gone to the extent of Shane and Rick’s in those early months, boy did that turn out to be a blessing in the end, but it was there. A budding friendship that would eventually turn into so much more. Rick had always done right by him and Daryl would always support him. He had no reason not to.

_He remembers finding the prison, feeling safe for the first time in a long time._

Rick got them further than Shane ever could have, they all knew it. He’s a good leader, Rick, and he thinks on his feet. His methods may not always be the best, but in the world they’ve found themselves in who could have done any better? Certainly not Shane. In the end, all he cared about was playing house with Lori and Carl. _That_ would have gotten all of them killed. Rick did them a favor in the end by getting rid of Shane, even if that’s not how Rick wanted things to play out.

Finding the prison meant they had a stable home, even if it was dank and dirty and slightly depressing. It wasn’t the farm but it was something. They could see themselves living there, surviving there, and Daryl was finally starting to feel good in his skin. His friendship with Carol had progressed even further, Daryl doesn’t think he’s ever had a friend like her in his entire life, and he would die for his people in a heartbeat.

When Lori died, Rick was shocked to his core. His mental breakdown, while at a huge inconvenience to them, was understandable. That needed to happen in order for them to survive, for them to progress as a people. Daryl stepped up, he did everything he could for Judith, until Rick was ready to come back to them and be the leader they needed. Daryl never lost his respect for Rick, never lost his trust. If anything Rick’s breakdown and what Daryl did for Judith strengthened their relationship. It proved deep down there was a good person inside of Daryl, one that could be trusted to step up when he was needed. He liked thinking of himself as a good person. He liked feeling worthy. Rick and his people made him feel worthy.

Their friendship hits a snag when Daryl chooses Merle over Rick and the rest of the group. Merle was his brother, he felt duty bound to stick with him through everything. Merle was alone, Rick had a whole prison full of people who loved him. Merle needed him, Rick had people who could easily do his job. He quickly, maybe a little rashly, weighed his options and chose the one that, at the time, had made the most sense to him. It killed him to walk away from the group, especially Rick, but Daryl had done what he thought was right. He had to do right by Merle, before this group it had always been just the two of them. How could he walk out on his own flesh and blood?

He came to regret that decision once he realized just how different he and his brother are. Daryl had changed a lot, Merle hadn’t. They weren’t the same, they had vastly different viewpoints, and it was destined to fail from the very beginning. He had underestimated how much he loved the group, how much it hurt to turn his back on Rick. He needed them, just as much as they needed him, and he wasn’t ready to admit that to himself. He thought he could go back to the person he used to be, the person he hated, but he couldn’t. The group meant too much to him. They were his family, Daryl wouldn't walk out on his family.

Merle was wrong, he wasn’t the only one to care about Daryl. Glenn had called him family, Rick had called him family, everyone considered everyone else family. Blood didn't matter. The prison not only tolerated him these days, they liked having him around. That’s where he belonged, that’s where he would always belong. He was still rough around the edges, but he was theirs.

 

It eventually gets to a point where he can honestly say he loves them and they love him. It’s a weird concept, loving someone. He loved his Mama, even if he didn’t remember much about her, and he loved Merle to a certain extent. But it was different with the prison. They made him feel good, worthy. They loved him, despite his faults, and they trusted and depended on him. The bond he felt with his people is stronger than anything he's ever felt before. It's built on blood, sweat, and tears. It's cultivated over many hard months and long nights spent together. It's worth preserving.

When Daryl first joined the group, he didn’t plan on staying. He didn’t plan on loving these people, respecting them. He didn’t expect to meet Rick, fall in love with him, find himself a home. He didn’t expect for Rick to return the favor, for them to love each other with mutual affection. Daryl didn’t expect to let down his barriers enough so Rick could find a place next to his heart.

He didn’t expect any of that to happen, but it did. If that makes him a pussy boy, like Merle told him all those years ago, well. So be it.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/assbuttrickyl)


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